In 1996, I went through the usual flat search process, the property descriptions were in a folder called “The Scary folder”. I had thought perhaps 35,000 would be enough, but all the flats I liked were going for 65,000 or more, even if the bidding started below 40,000.
Luckily a woman at one of the agencies decided to convince me that this flat was for me. She had seen me each week for six months, new I was determined and she thought the flat was a good deal and insisted I meet her there again to review it again, I was not that enthusiastic.
I didn’t think it was a good deal, ground floor was a big negative, the Bachelor pad red shag carpet in the living room along with the spot lights, mirrors and electric bar fire were shudderingly awful. The pink wallpaper in the hall and kitchen were not exactly my style either and the green bathroom suite was not great. A short walk along the Kelvin to the Botanic gardens was a big plus as was the proximity of the Forth & Clyde Canal.
What I didn’t know was that the seller was an arse and his lawyer an even bigger arse, they had both irritated the woman at the solicitors to such a point that she wanted the property off her hands and so, I eventually paid 40,000 which was an excellent price in the market at the time, but it needed “a little work”.
I had intended painting, floor board skimming and if I could afford it eventually a new kitchen and bathroom. As you can see from the pictures, it did not really work out that way.
It all really started when Dave at work told me that the kitchen floor needs to be level if I wanted to install the kitchen properly. After that while drilling a hole in the exterior wall for the gas boiler flue half the plaster (actually cement) fell off in disturbingly large sections, it was then that it all just got out of hand.
I removed the kitchen floor completely as the floor boards were in a very bad condition and replaced some of the joists. Luckily the reclamation yard had a lorry long enough to deliver them. Have you ever had 7 meters+ of Victorian joist delivered? I’m amazed the lorry made it into my street, I had not considered the implications in getting such large pieces of wood to the flat and had thought the 35quid was a steep delivery charge. Well, I did before the lorry arrived.
During that time, my favourite gag was to open the kitchen door and watch the shock crawl across peoples faces. The kitchen door opened onto a 1.5 meter drop to bare earth and I had already removed lath & plaster from the walls. To put that into perspective, while in the kitchen, my chest was at the flats floor level.
Getting the joists in the house was tough as they were very heavy and eventually required breaking two windows, which was fun and exciting until I had to replace the glass.
I was particularly proud of the marine ply floor in the kitchen, which will be the only thing standing if a missile hits the building. I used the old joist as cross pieces “dwangs” making the floor strong, rigid and suitable for tiles. There was some fun involved, cutting the ply required the use of a big table saw, the dwangs a chain saw and the screws at six inch centers a Hilti screw gun – big toys for big boys!
The mess involved in removing the mortar or lime from the bricks is indescribable. When the neighbour upstairs came to complain about the dust, I needed radar to find the door as I could not see – or breathe for that matter.
The bathroom was quite a job, after finding the false ceiling I discovered the window above the door, then the wood panelling on the walls, the breadth of the room increased by 15cm and the height by nearly a meter.
The NY apartment walls in the kitchen and the hall were a lot of work, stripping the wood work took a lot of time too.
The bedroom needed very little work and the biggest thing in the living room other than the floor was rebuilding the fireplace.
I found the fire-surround – the wooden bit in a junk yard for 100 pounds, it had an infinite number of layers of paint on it. When the guy who stripped it returned it along with the radiators, he offered me 450 quid for it! The insert I found in Aberdeen, it was another 300 quid. The hearth I build with the help of the James who tiled my bathroom.
James does really good work, especially if you convince him that there is no need to cut the tiles just so much. The guy who did the tiles on the kitchen floor was an artist. These days he is unavailable as he is always tiling a swimming pool somewhere.
The messiest job was certainly the walls, removing the lath and plaster made a real mess, but perhaps my favourite job was the work done by a guy from Blantyre who skimmed the plaster board and ceiling. The finish looked like velvet but was a smooth as glass to the touch. Until the walls were painted, I would go around the flat running my fingers on the plaster, it was a continual surprise how smooth it was, anyway (cough) probably best I leave that theme.